Oof, what a week of fantasy football results! Let's dive right in, shall we? Nutty Toilets (132.10) vs King of Brentwood (142.18) - Close one, but King of Brentwood managed to edge out the win. Better luck next time, Nutty Toilets, maybe invest in some plungers for your lineup. Bones Knows (105.84) vs BIG LUMBER (130.10) - Yikes, Bones Knows got absolutely lumber-jacked this week. Maybe they should change their team name to "Bones Doesn't Know." Burrow This L (101.06) vs Rotenheimer (161.50) - Burrow This L should definitely take their own team name's advice after that beatdown from Rotenheimer. Ouch. STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN (134.08) vs Marty Cold Cutz (83.22) - Looks like Marty Cold Cutz needs to invest in some heating pads for their roster after that frosty performance. STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN is living up to their patriotic name. Suce mes billes (141.16) vs Matty Ice Tea (100.12) - Matty Ice Tea got their drink order mixed up this week, serving up a cold, disappointing beverage. Maybe stick to regular iced tea next time. DaCreamist (159.46) vs captain beef (121.22) - DaCreamist really showed captain beef who's the top cow this week. Hopefully, captain beef doesn't have to eat that Meat Mountain from Arby's after that subpar showing.
Josh Allen (King of Brentwood): 51.88 points
What a clash of titans! While Nutty Toilets put up a respectable score, they couldn't contain the scorching-hot King of Brentwood squad. Josh Allen decided to go full nuclear mode, unleashing an explosive 51.88 points to bury his opponents. Tyreek Hill also chipped in with a blistering 28.10, leaving Nutty Toilets in the dust. However, let's give a round of applause to Khalil Shakir's breakout performance of 21.60 points for the losing team. In the end, King of Brentwood reigned supreme, but Nutty Toilets can hold their heads high – they put up a valiant fight against a juggernaut.
Nutty Toilets: 132.10 points (Loss)
King of Brentwood: 142.18 points (Win)
Well, it seems like Bones Knows had a solid showing with Puka Nacua's explosive performance, but BIG LUMBER had the last laugh, thanks to a well-rounded effort from their squad. While Aaron Jones and Darnell Mooney tried to keep Bones Knows afloat, the Bills D/ST's negative points were a costly anchor. On the other hand, BIG LUMBER benefited from strong contributions from Rachaad White, Baker Mayfield, and David Montgomery, along with a respectable showing from Calvin Ridley and Jakobi Meyers. In the end, BIG LUMBER's balanced attack proved too much for Bones Knows to overcome.
Bones Knows: 105.84 points (Loss)
BIG LUMBER: 130.10 points (Win)
Oh my, what a lopsided affair we had this week! Burrow This L must have felt like they were drowning in a sea of disappointment as Rotenheimer absolutely decimated them. While Travis Kelce and Joe Burrow tried their best, the rest of the squad seemed to be on a perpetual coffee break. Meanwhile, Rotenheimer's team was an unstoppable force, with Justin Jefferson leading the charge like a seasoned general. Even their kicker and defense got in on the action, leaving Burrow This L to ponder their life choices. Better luck next time, fellas!
Burrow This L: 101.06 points (Loss)
Rotenheimer: 161.50 points (Win)
Well, it seems like STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN had a solid performance, led by the dynamic duo of Tyrone Tracy Jr. and CeeDee Lamb. Mike Evans and Najee Harris chipped in as well, propelling the team to a comfortable 134.08 points. Meanwhile, Marty Cold Cutz couldn't quite keep up, despite respectable showings from Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Rico Dowdle, and Justin Herbert. The team's overall score of 83.22 left something to be desired, with players like James Cook and Ameer Abdullah failing to make much of an impact. In the end, STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN's balanced attack proved too much for Marty Cold Cutz to handle.
STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN: 134.08 points (Win)
Marty Cold Cutz: 83.22 points (Loss)
Well, it seems like the matchup between Suce mes billes and Matty Ice Tea was a one-sided affair. Suce mes billes absolutely dominated, thanks to some outstanding performances from Ja'Marr Chase, Kyler Murray, and their rookie sensations Chase Brown and Tucker Kraft. Matty Ice Tea's squad didn't quite live up to their name, with only Jalen Hurts and David Njoku providing any real spark. Devin Singletary's measly 0.8 points was just the cherry on top of a disappointing sundae. In the end, Suce mes billes left no room for doubt, delivering a decisive victory that likely had Matty Ice Tea questioning their life choices.
Suce mes billes: 141.16 points (Win)
Matty Ice Tea: 100.12 points (Loss)
Well, it seems like DaCreamist had a delightfully creamy performance, rising to the top with a impressive 159.46 points. Captain beef, on the other hand, might have been better off substituting their roster with actual beef patties, as they mustered a measly 121.22 points. Notable standouts include Cooper Kupp, who continues to prove himself as a top-tier wide receiver, and the Jets D/ST, who managed to somehow score a negative number (impressive, in its own way). On the other side, Davante Adams and Chuba Hubbard put up respectable numbers, but it wasn't enough to overcome DaCreamist's dominance. All in all, a delightfully entertaining matchup filled with highs, lows, and probably a few disappointed fantasy managers.
DaCreamist: 159.46 points (Win)
captain beef: 121.22 points (Loss)
| teamId | teamName | wins | losses | pointsFor | pointsAgainst | owner | lowestScoringTeam | playoffSeed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12.00 | Burrow This L | 11.00 | 3.00 | 1679.50 | 1598.24 | Burrow This L | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| 8.00 | Marty Cold Cutz | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1709.12 | 1656.66 | Marty Cold Cutz | 0.00 | 2.00 |
| 9.00 | Suce mes billes | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1680.78 | 1554.14 | Suce mes billes | 0.00 | 3.00 |
| 4.00 | captain beef | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1638.80 | 1729.26 | captain beef | 0.00 | 4.00 |
| 2.00 | Bones Knows 🫡 | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1619.00 | 1650.66 | Bones Knows | 0.00 | 5.00 |
| 13.00 | King of Brentwood | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1784.08 | 1777.52 | King of Brentwood | 0.00 | 6.00 |
| 14.00 | DaCreamist | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1701.96 | 1624.02 | DaCreamist | 0.00 | 7.00 |
| 5.00 | Bo Nix DroppedC ock on ATL | 8.00 | 6.00 | 1560.66 | 1580.26 | STROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN | 0.00 | |
| 1.00 | Drew Pebauls | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1603.50 | 1525.24 | Rotenheimer | 14.00 | |
| 10.00 | Nutty Toilets | 6.00 | 8.00 | 1567.38 | 1614.58 | Nutty Toilets | 0.00 | |
| 7.00 | Matty Ice Tea | 5.00 | 9.00 | 1626.24 | 1615.30 | Matty Ice Tea | 0.00 | |
| 11.00 | BIG LUMBER | 4.00 | 10.00 | 1520.32 | 1765.46 | BIG LUMBER | 0.00 |